Yankee Candle Company Endorses Joe Biden With Candle That Smells Like Young Women’s Hair

Lady Hair, a scent by Yankee Candle.

Trump may have KFC, Chick-Fil-A, Home Depot, Goya, and every Love’s truck stop across the United States of America, but Joe Biden gets a big win with Yankee Candle Co.

“I think it’s a match made in coleslaw,” Joe Biden said Sunday morning. No one had any idea what he meant by that, but we think he’s saying it’s a good thing. “I’m just glad others can finally smell what I’ve been enjoying all these years,” said the old pervert. At least that sentence was coherent.

Anyway, we expect this race to get weirder and creepier, so let’s see who gets the Spencer’s Gifts endorsement over the next few weeks. My guess is Libertarian candidate Jo Jorgenson.

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