Artificial Intelligence is everywhere in 2020; self driving cars rely on AI to make logical decisions in real-world situations, facial recognition by a police state is a heated debate in the media, and now AI is able to assess voter demographics based on physical appearance.
While the diverse population of the United States nearly reaches 330 million, computers are able to break down statistics and scale it with known data. This is exactly how an AI trained with cutting edge machine learning protocol managed to develop a summed image of the average Trump voter…
And it kind of resembles corn.
The program was designed by Alexandre H., a small-time programmer working in R&D labs around the Cambridge area. She fed the AI data sourced from gerrymandered datasets of the entire USA.
Gerrymandering is a useful tool used by politicians to divide votes amongst large portions of land. For instance, take a look at Pennsylvania’s map. The bulk of Pennsylvania comprises of hills, forests, and highways while PA’s main population lies on the Eastern and Western borders. Thanks to gerrymandering the rolling farmland is given an equal congressional vote as the high density cities are. Cool!
It’s always difficult to see the “hidden data” that eludes us normal people. Thankfully AI is constantly working to make developments in how we understand the world. Knowing that corn is given an equal opportunity in having its voice heard is refreshing. Thanks AI!
No family. No friends. Her children would not speak to her anymore. She was cold and terrified, even the slightest sound within earshot would send her into nervous twitches. Her heart was dried up, shriveled and depleted, due to the constant outpouring of unrequited love and compassion she shared for those previously in her life.
We managed to track down her daughter, who wished to be referred to as “K”, and asked her why she no longer spoke to her mother.
“I do not wish to speak with her because she is an old hag. She is harrowed and barren. Her fortunes are no longer within my grasp. They have vanished like my love for her. I will not seek her out nor will I offer pieties to her. I have taken her gems and jewels and left her with her fabled coin-purse. I am a naughty greedy little leech and she is a haggard wench”…
“K” speaking about her estranged relationship with her mother
Surely there must be somebody who cares for this woman. Her petulant children wish to have nothing to do with her. They simply do not respect their elders, the greedy brats they are. When we found her alone upon the walkway under the tattered orange awning of the fish market promenade we were taken aback by the teardrops she had collected. We asked if she had a friend to confide in and she replied “just one”.
Just one friend. Terrible.
We found her friend, another woman who collected teardrops in return for catfish bones. She was spotted trading her catfish bone broth for plastic sandals to protect her brittle feet. We asked her about the coin-purse teardrop woman:
“May the code replicate eternal”
The catfish bone woman
It is a sad day when we must sit aside as querulous children disrespect the wise old members of society. We hope that by looking into this sullen woman’s history and way of life brought clarity upon the inequities some elderly people experience. Our hearts go out to everyone involved.
Baby boomers have been looking down on younger generations for not being able to decipher language in the style known as ‘cursive.’
It has been reported that this older generation is known for taking pride in their ability to write words in one continuous line. One zoomer, age 11, even claimed that “this variation of the written language is somehow intellectually and culturally superior to standard manuscript.”
Some have claimed that it doesn’t make much sense to pride oneself on doing things ‘the old fashioned way.’
Enough about cars though… millennials and zoomers are fighting back by creating a new language that is challenging their elder’s ability to comprehend the way they communicate every day.
This evolution of the written language has been commonly referred to as “emojis.” What exactly is an “emoji?”
a small digital image or icon used to express an idea, emotion, etc.
From the perspective of signalling theory, the main obstacle to the evolution of language-like communication in nature is not a mechanistic one. Rather, it is the fact that symbols—arbitrary associations of sounds or other perceptible forms with corresponding meanings—are unreliable and may well be false. As the saying goes, “words are cheap”. The problem of reliability was not recognized at all by Darwin, Müller or the other early evolutionary theorists.
Many baby boomers have been known to confuse the crying emoji for ‘crying of laughter’ emoji. Many have seen boomers make this mistake more often, but never in this context. Even if it were the crying 😢 emoji, it would still be a tasteless way to inform family of your son’s death.
Some zoomers are reportedly making their own emojis.. and millennials are following suit, causing the iPhone keyboard to become even more popular.
I cannot doubt that language owes its origin to the imitation and modification, aided by signs and gestures, of various natural sounds, the voices of other animals, and man’s own instinctive cries.
Charles Darwin, 1871. The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex