She Was Found Alone, Cold, And Hungry With Only A Coin-purse Filled With Teardrops. Heartbreaking…

No family. No friends. Her children would not speak to her anymore. She was cold and terrified, even the slightest sound within earshot would send her into nervous twitches. Her heart was dried up, shriveled and depleted, due to the constant outpouring of unrequited love and compassion she shared for those previously in her life.

Heart wrenching.

We found her drinking her teardrops from the leather satchel

We managed to track down her daughter, who wished to be referred to as “K”, and asked her why she no longer spoke to her mother.

“I do not wish to speak with her because she is an old hag. She is harrowed and barren. Her fortunes are no longer within my grasp. They have vanished like my love for her. I will not seek her out nor will I offer pieties to her. I have taken her gems and jewels and left her with her fabled coin-purse. I am a naughty greedy little leech and she is a haggard wench”…

“K” speaking about her estranged relationship with her mother
Her coin-purse, leather moistened from the collected teardrops.

Surely there must be somebody who cares for this woman. Her petulant children wish to have nothing to do with her. They simply do not respect their elders, the greedy brats they are. When we found her alone upon the walkway under the tattered orange awning of the fish market promenade we were taken aback by the teardrops she had collected. We asked if she had a friend to confide in and she replied “just one”.

Just one friend. Terrible.

We found her friend, another woman who collected teardrops in return for catfish bones. She was spotted trading her catfish bone broth for plastic sandals to protect her brittle feet. We asked her about the coin-purse teardrop woman:

“May the code replicate eternal”

The catfish bone woman
Her only friend…

It is a sad day when we must sit aside as querulous children disrespect the wise old members of society. We hope that by looking into this sullen woman’s history and way of life brought clarity upon the inequities some elderly people experience. Our hearts go out to everyone involved.

5 Ways To Make The Apartment Search Fun (While Saving Money)

Live here. Easy.

Searching for a new apartment can leave you exhausted, depressed, and broke. It seems that moving is getting harder and harder these days… until now! Thanks to this handy list you’ll be able to hunt for the perfect apartment in your city all while having fun (and saving some cash)!

Bring a friend

Taking a friend along with you is a good idea when checking out empty apartments. There will be no entertainment or furniture so having a pal by your side will help keep the edge off.

The series “Friends” is about friends living in an apartment.

Ask the realtor questions

Getting to know your realtor/potential landlord might seem boring. “What do they know about the world?” you’ll ask yourself. Well actually the realtor might have some good stories. Ask them about their family, lost loves, or the scariest thing that has happened to them. Who knows, maybe they’ll cut you a deal!

Attentively listening to their story might win you some savings, no matter how boring it is.

Measure everything

Measuring all of the doorways and rooms is a good way to kill time when you’re on the apartment hunt. Keep a list of all the dimensions and compare them when you get home. Maybe a doorframe will be crooked! Cool!

Doorframe not up to code? Let the landlord know you’ll report him to the city unless he comps your security deposit.

Talk to the neighbors

Usually apartments will have neighbors occupying adjacent floors. Talking to them while you’re taking an apartment tour is a great way to network and flex your side hustle. If you become friends with them you can always crash at their place during the weekends; usually apartments are formatted similarly every floor. Rent-free baby!

Talking to this guy is probably more interesting than talking to the landlord anyway.


Haggling with the landlord is not only a way to potentially save money but also a good way to kill time. It doesn’t even have to be about the rent! Like their watch? Offer them a pair of shoes you don’t like. Want to save money from the security deposit? Try to set them up with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend. Who knows what sweet deals you can nab by haggling a bit!

Never be the first to name a price. Let them set the minimum and grind them down from there.

Hopefully these tips help alleviate some of the stress of finding a new apartment. There’s nothing more rewarding than signing that lease and knowing that you didn’t only get a good deal but that you had fun doing it!