Militarized Police Leads To Homeless Police, Study Reveals

PALO ALTO, CA — Sure, all cops are bastards, but they could soon all be homeless bastards. According to a recent study conducted by my own eyeballs, it appears that the more we militarize the police, the likelier the chance of them becoming homeless.

“The chances go up about 100%,” says a different person with eyeballs I asked. They conducted their study the same as me: by just driving around different cities in America and seeing how many homeless people are also Veterans. “They’re literally everywhere. Hell, if we militarized the Boy Scouts, they’d probably end up homeless too. It doesn’t really matter who it is; everyone who is militarized ends up on the streets,” they concluded in affirmation.

As a Veteran myself, I have to say, I hope the study is correct. It sure would be nice to be driving and see a sign that says “Homeless Cop” instead of “Homeless Vet” for a change. If you really “support the troops,” you probably agree: Homeless Vet bad. Homeless Cop good.

Defund the police? Not if we wanna solve the problem long-term. Honestly, if you’re a protestor, maybe the smartest thing to do is to just try and outlast the cops, like that episode of The Simpsons when Homer is a boxer and just lets everyone punch him until they’re too tired.

For now, it’s just a waiting game. So hang in there, wear your masks, and remember: at least you have experience being poor. Imagine being new to it.

Study Shows That Anti-Maskers Lack Basic Self Awareness

As a psychological trait, consideration for others is generally seen as a sign of rudimentary self awareness. The deficit of this is indicative of a failing economy and society.

Studies also show that unwavering pride for senseless things denotes a lower intelligence score.

Here is a mask with a fucking ball sack on it.

Congratulations, America is royally fucked in the ass and is the official laughing stock of the entire world.

While the world burns, morbidly obese trolls are pro active about making the world a better place.

What to Expect After Raising Your Vibrations and Moving into the Higher Dimensions

It’s no secret that maintaining a High Vibration leads us to Higher Consciousness. Higher Consciousness is directly related towards continued Higher Vibration and Frequency allowing us to transcend the Higher Dimensions of 5D and beyond…but what can we expect from these new and foreign dimensions?

frequency (f) = 1/t

Once WE are in those Higher Dimensions, WE BEgin to Connect more fully with those Multi-Dimensional parts of ourSelves, unlocking our personal Akashic Record and Connecting us more fully with our Higher SELVES and the integration of All of us coming into our Higher SELVES…for WE are our Higher SELVES, and our Higher SELVES are us, have always been, and always will BE!

But it is up to each and every one of us to continue to Allow this process to Flow through us, to ‘Go With The Flow’…just as the mighty Columbia rolls on,, when WE are in that Flow of ONENESS with the All That Is, WE are in those Higher Vibrations and Higher Consciousness…the power turning our soul’s darkness to Dawn.

The BEings that WE are today in this lifetime and the Consciousness that WE have attained through much work WILL attract other Dimensional Beings into our lives that are NOT of this terrestrial planet, and they come to give us a Message of LIGHT, to give us a Message of Connection, to remind us of who WE are, to remind us that WE are Connected to those BEings and All of Everything. The SOURCE and the All That Is.

So, if you are getting up at 4 a.m. in the morning and noticing a LIGHT, a Halo, or an Orb….do not be alarmed…it is a Message for YOU. What you must do is process this LIGHT to understand FULLY within your Heart-Mind what it means to YOU….

Donald Trump Is So Rich He Has Eaten Fried Ballsack: and You’re Going to Tell Me That Isn’t Gay?

A scrumptious ballsack delicatessen….

Rich people are often known for their adventerous palettes. For some, however, escargot just isn’t enough.

So they started eating ball sacks off the French island of the Riviera’s.

The island where they eat ball sacks.

Donald Trump purportedly ate his first fried ball sack in June 2010 after Trump University went bankrupt… and Gordon Ramsay had a god damn hay-day.

Anyways — he has eaten ~13 ball sacks of wide varietes since that special day. Some say he ate one the day he was inaugurated as a way to celebrate. Why is eating something like an Elk ballsack so enticing to the .01%? Why are rich people like this?

A diary entry from Donald Trump:

“It’s lonely at the top… all this ballsack… no one to share it with :(“

An AI Generated Images Of The Average “Trump Voter”… And It Kind Of Looks Like Corn

Artificial Intelligence is everywhere in 2020; self driving cars rely on AI to make logical decisions in real-world situations, facial recognition by a police state is a heated debate in the media, and now AI is able to assess voter demographics based on physical appearance.

While the diverse population of the United States nearly reaches 330 million, computers are able to break down statistics and scale it with known data. This is exactly how an AI trained with cutting edge machine learning protocol managed to develop a summed image of the average Trump voter…

And it kind of resembles corn.

Organic mammalian material is slightly visible. However, the majority of the “voter” resembles corn.

The program was designed by Alexandre H., a small-time programmer working in R&D labs around the Cambridge area. She fed the AI data sourced from gerrymandered datasets of the entire USA.

This is a gerrymandered map of the USA. The red is predominantly farmland.

Gerrymandering is a useful tool used by politicians to divide votes amongst large portions of land. For instance, take a look at Pennsylvania’s map. The bulk of Pennsylvania comprises of hills, forests, and highways while PA’s main population lies on the Eastern and Western borders. Thanks to gerrymandering the rolling farmland is given an equal congressional vote as the high density cities are. Cool!

The AI believes that the red coloration is majority corn voter.

It’s always difficult to see the “hidden data” that eludes us normal people. Thankfully AI is constantly working to make developments in how we understand the world. Knowing that corn is given an equal opportunity in having its voice heard is refreshing. Thanks AI!

Boomer Parody Pages Are Putting Evolutionary Pressure on Ages 55 +, Causing Rudimentary Self Awareness

“Evolutionary pressure is causing rudimentary self-awareness in the older population.”

source: Harvard

Consciousness, most scientists argue, is not a universal property of all matter in the universe. Rather, consciousness is restricted to a subset of animals with relatively complex brains. The more scientists study animal behavior and brain anatomy, however, the more universal consciousness seems to be.

This then begs the question: are people “pretending to be boomers” on the internet holding up a mirror to this cursive loving, 55+ population? Is the self beginning to recognize the self? Are insane memes about “libtard snowflake bull” acting as an absurd foundation for bootstrapping consciousness in this older population?

A meme for old people about millennials and vibe checks.
A political cartoon catering towards geriatric humor demonstrating an increase in cultural and self awareness levels.

Bicameralism (the condition of being divided into “two-chambers”) is a hypothesis in psychology that argues that the human mind once operated in a state in which cognitive functions were divided between one part of the brain which appears to be “speaking”, and a second part which listens and obeys — a bicameral mind.

source: Yahoo Answers

Has this theory of the bicameral mind extended beyond itself into a broader cultural context? Is the constant stream of “boomer shitposts” speaking, and the older generation listening?

A meme that makes absolutely zero sense.
A meme that doesn’t make any sense documenting this bizarre cultural phenomenon.

Boomer parody pages such as “Garden Hoses & The Olden Days” and “Jekyll Does’nt Hide(a redneck, meth smoking spin-off of GH&TOD) have pioneered this phenomenon, resulting in a viral phenomenon known as “OK Boomer.”

Darwin is probably rolling over in his grave right about now.

A meme from the page Jekyll Does'nt Hide about driving trucks and getting pussy.
A classic Jekyll Does’nt Hide Meme illustrating the absence of self-awareness often found in the character they “portray.” No one knows who the admins of this page are, however, or if the people running this page are being ironic or not.
A screenshot of Garden Hoses & The Olden Day's Facebook photo gallery.
A screenshot of GH&TOD’s photo gallery, featuring a variety of memes and images presenting in “the old people style” consisting of Impact font and pixelated images.

Here at D.E. we have been pondering this philosophical impasse greatly, and found ourselves wondering if content creators having infused this level of absurdity into low-tier, often effortless square images has thrown nature for a loop. One recent article about the ecological perspective of challenges and opportunities for baby boomers suggests yes, this could indeed be the case.

In conclusion, the online war that has been waged by millennials against Zoomers & Boomers seems to be having unintended side effects.

What are your thoughts on this thought provoking, politically challenging issue?

Emojis Are The New Cursive And It’s Time For Boomers To Learn It

Baby boomers have been looking down on younger generations for not being able to decipher language in the style known as ‘cursive.’

It has been reported that this older generation is known for taking pride in their ability to write words in one continuous line. One zoomer, age 11, even claimed that “this variation of the written language is somehow intellectually and culturally superior to standard manuscript.”

School lessons on how to write in cursive.
Lessons from school on how to write in “cursive”

Some have claimed that it doesn’t make much sense to pride oneself on doing things ‘the old fashioned way.’

A car featuring an automatic transmission.
Automatic cars are known for their ease of changing gears and overall user friendliness.

Enough about cars though… millennials and zoomers are fighting back by creating a new language that is challenging their elder’s ability to comprehend the way they communicate every day.

This evolution of the written language has been commonly referred to as “emojis.” What exactly is an “emoji?”


  1. a small digital image or icon used to express an idea, emotion, etc.

From the perspective of signalling theory, the main obstacle to the evolution of language-like communication in nature is not a mechanistic one. Rather, it is the fact that symbols—arbitrary associations of sounds or other perceptible forms with corresponding meanings—are unreliable and may well be false. As the saying goes, “words are cheap”. The problem of reliability was not recognized at all by Darwin, Müller or the other early evolutionary theorists.


emojis liven up your text messages with tiny smiley faces

A screenshot of someone using emojis in a sentence.
Screenshot of someone expressing happy, cool, and swag emotions in a sentence via the use of emojis.

Many baby boomers have been known to confuse the crying emoji for ‘crying of laughter’ emoji. Many have seen boomers make this mistake more often, but never in this context. Even if it were the crying 😢 emoji, it would still be a tasteless way to inform family of your son’s death.

A screenshot of the iPhone's coveted emoji keyboard.
Apples iPhone keyboard features a wide array of unique, well designed emojis.

Some zoomers are reportedly making their own emojis.. and millennials are following suit, causing the iPhone keyboard to become even more popular.

I cannot doubt that language owes its origin to the imitation and modification, aided by signs and gestures, of various natural sounds, the voices of other animals, and man’s own instinctive cries.

Charles Darwin, 1871. The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex

Move Over Tabby- There’s A New Cat Species In Town

Swiss Scientists at the University of Zurich have discovered a latent gene found in orange tabbies that may indicate an undiscovered cat species. The new breed that they’re calling “Crabby Tabbies” have quickly taken a spotlight on instagram for their adorable whiskers and cute tails. Take a look:

Cute kitten with blue eyes and patterns.
Crabby tabby’s are known for their patterns and cute eyes.

Isn’t that just the cutest thing? The Zurich genetics department were quick to “the ‘gram” with these little things. Following the announcement of this new cat species influencers swarmed adoption agencies to snag a Crabby Tabby for themselves. Look, they even suckle the faucet:

Cat drinking from the bathroom faucet.
Crabby Tabby drinking directly from the faucet of their bathroom.

Alessandro Isler, a graduate student of Zurich University, coined the name “Crabby Tabby” to describe the disposition of these new creatures. He states, “These strange little things have a way about them that is indescribable. One moment they are sitting upon the bed aloof and the next moment they are active and slightly irritable.” In any event, we’re loving this new breed. Consider us #teamcrabby!