Scientists Determine Your Bed Is 75% More Comfortable On Tuesday, November 3rd

After ongoing double-blind studies, sleep scientists at UC Berkeley are confident in their data pointing towards a spike in sleeping comfort on one particular day of the year. Gail Owens, who has been leading the team since 2007, is responsible for this breakthrough pointing towards November 3rd as being the “most comfortable morning to sleep in and stay in bed all day”.

SLATTUM Upholstered bed frame - Knisa light gray - IKEA
“We heavily urge all Americans to stay in bed and relish this discovery on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2020” – Gail Owens

What is pointing towards Tuesday, November 3rd is yet to be determined but the research team is heavily advising everyone to take advantage of it:

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity that we’re advising everyone to take advantage of. Staying in bed all day on November 3rd is the best opportunity for that particular day. This issue is bigger than we will ever know and it’s time for all of us to act.

Gail Owens, chief sleep specialist.

While the most universally comfortable stay-in-bed day was determined to be November 3rd, the research team at Berkeley pointed to several days that affected individual subjects. These resulted in a 15% – 48% increase in full day bed comfortability. Owens mentioned Subject 397 who (despite being scheduled for jury duty on October 17th) found a net-increase of 41% in their overall bed comfort that day.

The date Tuesday, November 3rd, however, seems to point to a universal correlation in all-day relaxation. Citizens are heavily urged to stay indoors and specifically in bed. Although, preliminary research is ongoing regarding the relief of a nice warm bath on Tuesday, November 3rd.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s